REALITY CHECK

Am a student engineer. Cool right? I must be so smart to pick such a profession. Madam engineer, that’s what my friends call me. My ego is on the roof. Am doing a ‘hard’ course. And if I graduate I’ll earn a lot of money. I’ll be solving your electrical and telecommunication needs. I’ll change our Kenya country and get it on the map technology wise. Am building castles in the air again! I got to stop this, it won’t do me any good anyway. Pause.

Back to reality. The 2016/2017 academic year results have just been released. It’s not that good. Where did the missing marks come from. I did my exams, I collected the papers. What carelessness?What went wrong? Maybe the marks decided to go on vacation. Maybe the marks are still in the oven. It’s baking for too long these, marks of mine, I hope they don’t get burnt. Am trying to be funny again. Am not Eric Omondi I need to stop this. Pause.

Let me be serious now. THE FOLLOWING STUDENT IS RECOMMENDED TO REPEAT :

1.AUMA LYDIA VERA –  TLE/03/15 percentage fail 30%

What did I do wrong? It must been those Five hard courses. I used to be good in maths. The best in my region. I was excellent in physics. I was undoutfully the best student in my school. I’ve never repeated before. Why now in university? I blame my bad karma. What will I do now? How will I tell my Parents? Their bright girl is repeating. Can I appeal? How do I even appeal? Why did I pick this hard profession? Am stupid? Am a failure? How will my friends and classmates see me? What will I do now? Why am I feeling hot? This heat is too much. Where is this headache coming from? Am feeling stressed. My mind is wondering off again. I need to stop this it won’t change my situation. Pause.

Let me ‘still’ my mind now. Am a student engineer! AUMA LYDIA VERA – TLE/03/15 ;THE FOLLOWING STUDENT HAS BEEN DISCONTINUED ON ACADEMIC GROUNDS!…. Discontinued? Why? How?. I totally didn’t expect it. What course will I do now? My parents will kill me. My friends will laugh at me. My classmates will degrade me. I need to see the exam coordinator. I should have cheated in the exams when I had the chance. Maybe it’s time for me to choose a profession in line with my passion. Talent, that’s is something that is in the back of my mind. I want to be an engineer, then my parents will be happy. Now that I’ve been discontinued should I pick an easy course? Am totally screwed. My life is a wreck. My A plain of 82 points has played me. I feel cheated, I’ve duped myself. Am overthinking again . I need to stop this what’s done is done. Pause.

My mind is back on track again. I’ve been approved by the Engineers board of Kenya. I didn’t get any supplementary. I passed. Am so happy. My parents will be proud. All my classmates will want to sit next to me during exams. My Mwakenya and PDFs was a sure thing. They served me right. Am a student engineer. I earned my respect. Now bow down before me. I’ll get a good job. I’ll have a big house. I’ll buy my mum a car. May God be good to me so that I may get a first class honors. Maybe even get post graduate scholarship abroad. Those people who think I’ll help them during exams should think twice, they might hate me for it but my brain is mine and mine alone. They should read more if they want to pass. They should concentrate in class. They should attend the labs. They should do their assignments. Am a clever girl. May I serve my country right. Am day dreaming again. I need to stop this I can’t tell what tomorrow holds. Pause.

REALITY CHECK :

Being a graduate doesn’t guarantee employment. First class honors doesn’t guarantee success in life. Repeating doesn’t mean you are a failure. It’s a second chance, it’s a free do over. Being discontinued doesn’t mean you are not good enough. It’s a chance to explore your passion and talent. A chance to do right by you. Even an opportunity to start that business you have been thinking of. We give a certificate way too much power over our futures.

Vera